It is better than being alone.

INFORMATION

Someone speaks softly through the horror and pain:
'Love has gone, but it could come again.'
Spring arrives quietly, warming her skin
Her heart, now red, is beating again
- Hannah Fury, 'Someone Speaks Softly'

Not a writer but a professional student. Instead I can be the jaded passer-by that caught a glimpse of a fling or a fatal mistake, a murder in the back alley, and I keep it all to myself so I don't lose any of it during the spilling from heart to paper on an unimaginary dark night. I write opinions, facts, emotions and other satisfied sentences that are the offspring of my imagination and external influences. And I do not need your validation to live, for the record.

CONTACT

FS/augustkills
FP/thepapercult
LJ/snipethedoctor
WP/electricsleeves

CREDITS

Icon: DW/tablesaw
Layout: tues day night
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery

Not so gothy.

Written on: Friday, January 8, 2010
Time: 11:18 PM

I'm not sure what I should be doing now. A decent portion of me wants to continue Goth for a little while, but 'little whiles' as most writers/artists ought to have realised, are a misnomer. I'm through chapter one, though I might be heading back for some minor adjustments, correcting the strange, disjointed parts and smoothening out parts of the story that didn't seem to flow well. It has been long since I've tried something from a first-person's perspective, and it amazes me how lack of practice for a year does to things. Mikaela (a temporary exotic name belonging to the lead) has obtained a jaded, curious personality and the sound of a monotonous recitation even though it's just the beginning. Perhaps this could be part of the story, or at least part of why it's badly needing a second attempt, despite my claims that it works just fine, it doesn't.

Chapter two has been slippery and I've been feeling I'm gradually losing the plot. One day it would be the best thing I've ever written and the next I would be staring at it and wondering for the nth time what has happened to me. It's also a first: incorporating too many characters with overly-colourful background histories and getting that to slip out bit by bit till all is complete in the end.

Labels: i feel distressed, writer's block, writer's rambles

The sunrise without a beginning.

Time: 11:16 PM

Goodness me, where have I gone to?

I started on a short story plainly because I had some time to spare at night, but recently it has turned into an obsession. Of sorts. It demands to be remembered and improved. Now its characters are demanding modification and occasionally I find myself jotting down some sudden ideas on the notebook margins.

It's very disturbing.

I have 2000 words worth of it saved on Microsoft Word and currently it's my newest and hence most prized collection of imagery and scene clips I have in my possession. It's a tad confusing, since I have fallen for the middle portion and the ending has been written right down to The End, but I haven't been able to get it to start smoothly and convincingly, and my ideas are empty when it comes to tying all these bits and pieces together. Today I have tied phrases akin to flimsy string for a weak transition.

I yearn for it to continue, since it's my first attempt at a multi-faceted look at romance without dumb fantasies and mushy bits meshed into the lead's ignorance.

Labels: i feel frustrated, writer's block, writer's rambles

ABOUT ME

Charmaine/Emmy: FCPS, RSS, ___. Satire buff. Anglophile, pedagogue, nefarious grammarian-in-training and hedonistic pedant. Dreams of a pathologist office smelling of soap, disinfectant and disease. (Who forgets autopsies?) I'm a student and satisfied with it, and I'm not eligible to be a writer. Writers are sensitive, creative and they think out of the box but I'm more of a structured person. Then again everyone writes so writers are an exclusive category for published geniuses that do not include me. I like the glories of academia, medicine, reading books, dreaming and writing. I'm that sort of person who would rather party than study, whom one would make happier giving a medical journal/national geographic mag issue than, say, a fashion magazine. (I do read fashion mags when they come to me, but they aren't a necessity.) I'm boring/intriguing like that. I am a step to University at the moment and I'm treading carefully in case I slip. I'm uncertain if I'll ever find a husband but that doesn't bother me much. This blog collects all my satisfactory writings.

Notes on writings
I don't usually curse, if at all, but at times for a piece of writing to be plausible certain undesirable elements have to be inserted to add reality to it. We all have seen our share of crude characters and for this, it would just be me writing about one. It's a little like writing about lust; written about, divulged, but never encouraged. To put this plainly: if it carries to reality, it is wrong. But since it isn't technically reality, in my perspective it isn't.
I support pairings and I understand the norm do not. However I see no necessity to apologise for my head.

'You can't cut my heart into sections'
More books, more shelves.
Christianity, which in my perspective hinges less on modern-day hocus-pocus than the immutable truth.
My Chemical Romance.
Pathology.
German tank models.
Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson.
Vienna Teng.
Heath Ledger.
The Third Reich.
Bubble Tea.

Wishlist:
National/Victoria JC
Cambridge University
MCR album (2010)
A spiral-bound, shorthand notebook
Grimm's Last Fairytale (Haydn Middleton)
The Asylum For Wayward Victorian Girls (Emilie Autumn)
Young Adolf (Beryl Bainbridge)
Suspended Animation: Six Essays on the Preservation of Bodily Parts (F. Gonzalez-Crussi)
A Not Entirely Benign Procedure: Four Years As A Medical Student (Perri Klass)
Fry and Laurie 4 (Stephen Fry)
Mein Kampf (Adolf Hitler)
Emilie Autumn's The Opheliac Companion CD
Hannah Fury's The Thing That Feels CD