It is better than being alone.

INFORMATION

Someone speaks softly through the horror and pain:
'Love has gone, but it could come again.'
Spring arrives quietly, warming her skin
Her heart, now red, is beating again
- Hannah Fury, 'Someone Speaks Softly'

Not a writer but a professional student. Instead I can be the jaded passer-by that caught a glimpse of a fling or a fatal mistake, a murder in the back alley, and I keep it all to myself so I don't lose any of it during the spilling from heart to paper on an unimaginary dark night. I write opinions, facts, emotions and other satisfied sentences that are the offspring of my imagination and external influences. And I do not need your validation to live, for the record.

CONTACT

FS/augustkills
FP/thepapercult
LJ/snipethedoctor
WP/electricsleeves

CREDITS

Icon: DW/tablesaw
Layout: tues day night
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery

Night Thoughts

Written on: Saturday, January 9, 2010
Time: 12:11 AM

What are you thinking of
When our eyes are closed and we drown in sleep
From the twelve midnight exhaustion or after-beer fatigue
Of fuzzy one-night stands in bars with neon-powered lights
When she finds out her heart didn’t put up a fight
Though how distraught and crushed she looks on the sidewalk
Entertaining ideas of sleeping pills or death without a second thought
She has heart trouble and being far away doesn’t make it subside very well
When drawn to you like a living magnet she’s a little surprised finding you repel
Yet another of earth’s theories we’ve entertained minutes before sleep
When two lie here and the girl doesn’t remember to laugh or weep
(At the appropriate parts, but she sounds quite the mystery
When she disregards social norms to a startling poetic degree)
Maybe you think she isn’t trying hard enough
Picking up details from the small stuff
How would you know she isn’t putting them into her pocket
With the rest of the feelings she doesn’t share (at least not yet)
When she’s ready probably she’ll open her heart to you
Her paper butterflies and blood-stained eyes’ll come pouring through
You talk till the midnight’s past and no one tries on purpose to outlast
Now all she simply, really needs to know
Isn’t what you thought of Marilyn Monroe
But rather if you’d sweep away the false from what’s true, so
Her eyes actually ask if you’d offer a quid pro quo

Labels: * poetry

ABOUT ME

Charmaine/Emmy: FCPS, RSS, ___. Satire buff. Anglophile, pedagogue, nefarious grammarian-in-training and hedonistic pedant. Dreams of a pathologist office smelling of soap, disinfectant and disease. (Who forgets autopsies?) I'm a student and satisfied with it, and I'm not eligible to be a writer. Writers are sensitive, creative and they think out of the box but I'm more of a structured person. Then again everyone writes so writers are an exclusive category for published geniuses that do not include me. I like the glories of academia, medicine, reading books, dreaming and writing. I'm that sort of person who would rather party than study, whom one would make happier giving a medical journal/national geographic mag issue than, say, a fashion magazine. (I do read fashion mags when they come to me, but they aren't a necessity.) I'm boring/intriguing like that. I am a step to University at the moment and I'm treading carefully in case I slip. I'm uncertain if I'll ever find a husband but that doesn't bother me much. This blog collects all my satisfactory writings.

Notes on writings
I don't usually curse, if at all, but at times for a piece of writing to be plausible certain undesirable elements have to be inserted to add reality to it. We all have seen our share of crude characters and for this, it would just be me writing about one. It's a little like writing about lust; written about, divulged, but never encouraged. To put this plainly: if it carries to reality, it is wrong. But since it isn't technically reality, in my perspective it isn't.
I support pairings and I understand the norm do not. However I see no necessity to apologise for my head.

'You can't cut my heart into sections'
More books, more shelves.
Christianity, which in my perspective hinges less on modern-day hocus-pocus than the immutable truth.
My Chemical Romance.
Pathology.
German tank models.
Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson.
Vienna Teng.
Heath Ledger.
The Third Reich.
Bubble Tea.

Wishlist:
National/Victoria JC
Cambridge University
MCR album (2010)
A spiral-bound, shorthand notebook
Grimm's Last Fairytale (Haydn Middleton)
The Asylum For Wayward Victorian Girls (Emilie Autumn)
Young Adolf (Beryl Bainbridge)
Suspended Animation: Six Essays on the Preservation of Bodily Parts (F. Gonzalez-Crussi)
A Not Entirely Benign Procedure: Four Years As A Medical Student (Perri Klass)
Fry and Laurie 4 (Stephen Fry)
Mein Kampf (Adolf Hitler)
Emilie Autumn's The Opheliac Companion CD
Hannah Fury's The Thing That Feels CD